A Letter to a Friend

Dear Sweet Friend,

I am so sorry you are receiving this letter.  You see, this is a letter to help you prepare for a tremendous amount of pain.  I do not want to write this letter but I fear if you do not get this information in a timely manner you will drown to death and be of no use to those you love.  Please listen to my advise.  Take a little of it or take a lot but at least listen.  

He's coming....this evil, dark, overwhelming, powerful beast called grief.  You can not outrun him, you can not hide from him, you can not overpower him.  He is much stronger and bigger than you.

MUCH STRONGER AND BIGGER THAN YOU.

His black cloud will sneak up on you, he will wrap his dark, black arms around you when you least expect it.  He will take you down... not all the time, but sometimes you will be taken down by his strength, you will be forced to lie on the ground or in your bed and he will not let you get up until he feels like you had enough.  

Some days he will leave you alone.  He will go sit on the bench while he watches you play on the playground with your other children, or he will take a ride around the block while you clean the house or prepare dinner for you family.  He's not always this evil, dark, overwhelming, and powerful beast.  

Sometimes he is gentle.

Sometimes he will gently hold your hand and walk with you through the forest while you look at the trees and feel the sun on your face.  You know he is there with you but you are okay with his presence and you actually enjoy his company.  He's not all bad you know, you will get use to him, you will know when he is getting angry or when he has decided to be kind to you today.  Either way he is always there.  He is always ready, willing and able to drop down and remind you that he will not go away.

You will cry.

You will cry....a lot my dear friend.  The streams of pain will overtake you, you will physically want to stop the madness but you will not be able to, you will have to give in to him.  You will be forced to live with his weight, his darkness, his sadness.  You do not have a choice.  It will just come.  My advice?  Give into him.  Cry.  Scream.  Yell.  You will feel the pain so deep that your stomach will feel like it is about to cramp if you do not stop this anguish but yet...you can't stop feeling, you can't stop the pain.  

The gift? 

This week we learned that grief is the gift we get for loving someone.  You will want to return this gift my friend.  Run to the store...stand on line...throw this gift back to the merchant.  I don't want it, you don't want it.  Get your money back NOW!  Someday maybe we will be able to accept this gift but not now....NOT NOW.  I DO NOT WANT THIS GIFT.  I DO NOT WANT YOU TO HAVE THIS GIFT EITHER.  Please do not take this the wrong way but I was not prepared to receive this gift.  I was not ready, I want him gone, I want to give him back.  You will not like this gift, it is not a nice, beautiful, shiny diamond.  It is an old, stank, putrid, gross, slimy, black lump of NOTHING!

So dear friend there you have it.  I apologize again for the contents of this letter but you had to be warned.  You need to know what lies ahead.  Just survive.  Do the next thing.  

Sincerely,

Josiah's Momma

"Even in laughter the heart may sorrow, 

And the end of mirth may be grief." Proverbs 14:13